Thank you for proving that it can work. I have had the thought that I don’t want distance because I can’t be with the person doing things or see them in certain situations. But your blog has inspired me to not limit what God might do. (Had a long distance date last night by the way so we will see how it goes. )

I am exactly what you say below…have been too dependent on other males in my life for affirmation at times and I wonder how to break myself of that to set myself up for success in a long distance relationship if that is what God wants. It is not lost on me that perhaps God is setting it up this way to teach me to not get too involved too quickly.

Any other tips you’ve got, I’d love to hear.

Thank you, again, for the reasurrance in my personal relationship through your story!

Thanks for your kind words – I’m really glad that you enjoyed the post.

You know what, I was (and still sort of am) the exact same way. For the first little while in the relationship I felt a little lonely. It was like I got the restrictions of being in a relationship without the physical affirmation and intimacy that I ‘needed’ so much. This led me down an unfortunate road where I depended on close male friends (and a recent ex who was a friend at the time) for that sense of physical affirmation. In my mind it was just “I like hugs!” but I realized that I was becoming more dependant on their interactions than on Roberto’s. I ended up compromising our relationship for a bit, but we’ve moved past that and so much has changed since then.

A few things changed when I realized that I wouldn’t be getting that physical reminder in my relationship. I realized that there’s purpose in my situation. My past relationships started off great and ended up spiraling into too much physical intimacy. With this relationship God taught me to love Roberto for who he is and not just love being “with” Roberto and being “around” Roberto. The distance rid me of that physical temptation until I healed from my messy past. That aside, I learned that I was too dependant on the male in my life – whoever he may be. I depended on him for the physical reminder of his presence but also I depended on him emotionally. The two tend to go hand-in-hand. Does that make sense at all? Roberto has done an amazing job in ‘being there’ for me without physically ‘being there’. As much as I love that, he still isn’t ‘here’ and that matters to me. What changed is that I’m learning not to find my comfort and affirmation and assurance in Roberto (or whatever other male in my world) but to find comfort and affirmation and assurance in Christ. Sometimes I really just need a hug, and I tell God that I really need a hug. I can’t quite explain it, but I feel as though there’s a physical reminder there that I can lean on Him and that He is my shoulder to cry on.

I know it’s really tough, but it’s not impossible. Search for the purpose in your situation and find your comfort (and patience and hugs) through God. It’s not easy, but it’s posible and it’s so worth it.

God gives us the passions on our hearts for a reason. They aren’t put there to collect dust. I think that where talent and passion collide, calling is not too far off. Find out what you love, through trial and error, or looking back and seeing what has given you the most joy and sense of accomplishment. The chances are, there’s something there.

And pray some more.

Best of luck, to you though. The next few days will be rough as you try to clarify. God will give you direction, even if it’s just the next tiny step in the dark.