http://www.flickr.com/photos/macahanc6r
There’s no room for pride when you are couch surfing. There’s only room for humility, gratefulness, and a few changes of clothes. That’s what I’ve been learning the last few weeks as I’ve taken up couch surfing.
While not the most delightful situation in the world, it’s been good for me. I can’t live in the “sprawling bachelorette ranch on the range” because something there – I suspect mold – is making me very sick.
It’s been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. There is no easy way to ask if you can crash on a friend’s couch for a few days. It’s easy to be on the giving end but not on the receiving. Because I don’t like admitting that I’m weak. That I need people. Or that I need help. It just doesn’t feel like the right thing, the American thing, or even the Caitlin Muir thing to do. But that shows that I’m proud. And that’s stupid.
I’ve had to learn to be open and honest. About everything. Especially my weaknesses.
There are some things I can’t do while I’m battling bronchitis. I don’t have a lot of stamina. My energy level is incredibly low. And I cough. A lot. I was trying to work around the clock on different projects but it was killing me. So I’ve learned to tell people, “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I’ve had to give up on some dreams in order to survive. That’s just the way it is.
The thing about being honest about your struggles is that it invites people to step up to the plate and be a friend. God works through our pain. He also speaks and loves through people. By not being open about your issues, you are telling God that you can handle it on your own. Like that’s going to work out well for you.
By getting honest about my health, my stamina, and the question marks on my future, my friends have shown me what it truly means to be a friend. It isn’t for the faint of heart.
There have been people who have opened up their homes to me. Friends who have sat with me while I cough. Beautiful people who have let me cry out of frustration and spoken truth into my life. My health is just one issue in my life. The one that people notice.
Opening up allows people to be Jesus in skin. To be the hands and feet of Christ and show what it means to care for each other. It isn’t easy. I don’t enjoy all the aspects but it’s good.
Has anyone else couch surfed out there? I’d love to hear what lessons you learned during the experience.
