I’ve been revisiting old blog posts lately. Rereading the words that spilled from my soul this last year. I’m sharing part of a series that really helped change my life. The post was written a year ago but I was 80 miles and a thousand emotions away from the place I’m at now. I’ve added a few tidbits to it to flesh it out. Enjoy. 

fear not

I never thought I had a problem with fear.

I was the child who would give fear the finger. Climb trees and jump out of them. The girl with wide eyes and stitches. But the truth of the matter is that I have my own set of fears that I have to face. The demons I don’t talk about.

The picture above is of my notes from last night’s Beth Moore Bible Study. They aren’t the scribblings of someone who didn’t need the message. My soul drank it up like a thirsty cactus at the beginning of monsoon season. I needed it.

One of the things I fear the most is rejection.

It’s the core fear of humanity, I think. It started in the garden. It’s why clothes were invented. A gnawing fear, a guilt in their case, that caused them to try to gloss it over, cower and hide.

The fear of rejection is what makes people do crazy things. They hold on to relationships longer than is healthy, lash out at the people who love them most, and diet like they’ll be competing in the Miss America swim-suit competition in five minutes.

The fear of rejection is also what causes people to live quiet lives of desperation. It causes Miss Independent to become a Stepford Wife. Trade in the ripped jeans and devil-may-care attitude for worry lines and aprons. Of course, it’s all smothered with a smile. But you can’t hide pain with lip gloss. You can’t spackle the hole in your soul. It will just grow bigger until your life is a minefield of fears, a blurry picture of the vibrant life you could have had.

You can’t fix your fears.

You can’t ignore them either.

You have to TRUST.

One day, I’d like to tattoo TRUST GOD onto my heart. Figuratively speaking of course. Until I get it tattooed on my wrist, it’s just something I remind my soul from day to day. If only it were that easy.

Last night at the Bible study, it was mentioned that the most popular, most common command was not a “thou shalt not” or even “love the world.” Although I do believe that both are important, it’s interesting that the most common, most used phrase in the entire Bible is:

FEAR NOT.

Hmmm. That’s something to think about it now, isn’t it?

The Bible is full of stories of men and women who were broken and flawed. They weren’t perfect. They didn’t always live on the edge of danger, daring it to take a swipe at them.

They had their own set of fears.

Mary had to face the fear of rejection. She had to deal with the whispers of a community and the glares of people who didn’t believe that she was baring the Christ-child.

Abraham was afraid of being killed because of his wife’s beauty. He was also afraid of dying without an heir. He did horrible things trying to placate these fears.

Peter was afraid of being known as a Jesus follower. He betrayed his best friend to save his skin.

The Bible is also full of people who had to realize that faith in Jehovah fills the gaping holes that fear had torn in their soul. That God was faithful yesterday, today, and forever. Once that seeps into your soul, you life is changed. Wrecked for the mundane and enlarged for the extraordinary.

When God says “Fear not,” why don’t I listen?